Waluigi's Day

It was another sunny morning in Diamond City. The sun was singing, the birds were shining... yup, just another day.

"Hey Walu" said the rather portly man dressed in his "business wear" (a biker outfit) with his mouth full. "Great bacon"
"Thanks Wario" replied the tall, thin guy frying an eggplant at the cooker. "I never thought you'd say anything positive about my cooking, ever. Anyway, you'd better be off to work! Don't you have a business meeting to attend today?"
"Business schmissness. It's not like it's a takeover bid or anything!" Suddenly the phone rang. Wario waddled over and answered it. "Wario residence. Wario speaking..."

While his brother was on the phone, Waluigi decided to go watch a bit of TV. Morning TV in Diamond City consisted of a man and woman in suits talking about the latest celebrity reality programme on DBS, so he picked a DVD to watch- Cops in Diamond, his favourite show. As the opening credits came to an end, Wario rushed out of the house screaming "IT'S A TAKEOVER BID!!! I'M GONNA BE LATE!!!" Waluigi had the day off, the house was empty apart from the cockroaches in the bathroom and the talking garlic in the basement...

"Mona Pizza, home of the world's best..."
"We know the slogan, now give me my pizza!"
"Oh hi Waluigi. Eggplant and jalapeno thin crust as usual?"
"Nah, not today Mona. I'm gonna try something different..."
Waluigi was midway through the second episode of Cops (the one where he and Wario made a "guest" appearance) when Mona knocked at the door, brandashing a "Insanity pepper with stuffed crust! Be warned that this pizza is extremely HOT! In fact, I can't let you have it unless you sign a waiver" Mona handed Waluigi a piece of paper, which he signed rather reluctantly. He went into the kitchen, opened the pizza box and tucked in. "Ugh, this pizza is so BLAND! So much for the stupid waiver! I'm gonna go read some magazines"

Magazines in the Wario household were divided into two piles, one for Wario and one for Waluigi. While Waluigi preferred magazines such as The Diamonder Wario liked titles such as... in fact, Waluigi wasn't sure of his brother's magazine choices, except for the fact he read a magazine called Big Jugs, which he hoped was about pottery. Looking in Wario's pile, he found Diamond City Roughs football programmes, magazines with blacked-out covers and titles such as Playgentleman and Oui, Oui, Oui!. He also found several copies of Big Jugs, which to his dismay was not about ceramics.

The door swung open and Wario walked in. "Well I stopped those multinational idiots from taking over MY company and... Hey, I smell pizza! And what's my June 1976 copy of Oui, Oui, Oui! doing in the trash? Waluigi?"
But Waluigi was miles away, riding pillion on Mona's scooter while he berated her about the pizza, leaving Wario to blame the mess on the talking garlic in the basement.